A Cautionary Tale

The following is a true story, which illustrate why you should think things through before you reach for your wand. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

I have a friend, who I’ll call “Pete,” who has a bit of an anti-authority streak. Pete was supposed to meet me and some other friends (who I shall refer to as “Big Pete” and “Dirty Old Magus”) at the local Denny’s for some social interaction. I was already at Denny’s with Dirty Old Magus, when Big Pete comes in explaining that Pete is going to be a little late, since he had been pulled over by an Officer of the Law (A cop, not a Thelemite — that’s important for the story).

So about fifteen minutes later Pete comes in, face red, hands trembling, smoke issuing forth from ears and whatnot, raving about how he is going to fight this ticket, and that his strategy involves calling a veterinarian as a witness to testify that since pigs are color blind, the cop couldn’t tell the difference between a red light and a yellow light. Big Pete pointed out that the light was red, as he had been stopped at it when Pete blew through it, which only frustrated Pete more.

So Pete decided that as he was a capable magician, he had another option. It occurred to him that Occifer Friendly could not pull him over if said occifer could not see Pete’s car.

I think you can see where this is going …

Now a bit about Big Pete. Big Pete works on cars, and has a very strong talent for letting people know when it is time for them to acquire new vehicles. While working on a car that he feels should die, Big Pete makes the simple statement “You need to get rid of this car, ” to which Unsuspecting Victim says, “Okay.” The fool. Needless to say, Big Pete had been working on Pete’s car, and had made this statement, and like a dumbass, Pete agreed with him.

You really, really should see where this is going now, but I’ll finish anyway.

So Pete put an invisibility spell upon his car — which had been cursed and fated to the junkyard by Big Pete — in the hopes that police officers would not be able to see him, and hence, would not pull him over. Pete learned two valuable lessons in one day: 1) If a magician who works on cars tells you that you need to get rid of your car, and you agree, something will happen to your car to make you get rid of it, and 2) If you make your car invisible so cops can’t see it, neither can the nice girl pulling out of the parking lot where you work.

So there is Pete, driving happily along the perimeter road at the college he works at, when some nice little girl, who had stopped at a stop sign and looked good and hard before proceeding, pulls out right into Pete’s car. She swore up and down that he came out of nowhere, as she had not seen his car at all.

On the plus side, Pete was able to get another car withing three days, in an exchanged that helped another friend get rid of a car she wanted to sell, and yet another friend who was trying to buy said car but couldn’t afford to pay the rest of the money on it. So it all worked out good.

Pete has since decided that the best way to avoid getting pulled over is to follow the traffic laws.


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