Odin’s Witnesses

When I was part of a pagan student group at university, I was regaled with the following tale. I am assured beyond all doubt that yes, it Really Happened, and thus should not be questioned regarding authenticity. I forget who the main character of the intrepid tale was, or the geographic locale of the incident, but I will do my best. Those familiar with the tale will be asked to forgive discrepancies, as I’m pulling this from a few years back. Oh, and there is a woman I know who is usually tasked with telling the story, who does it to full effect with voices and everything. It’s better hearing it from her, but here goes.

So as it goes, our Hero lived in an apartment in some or another city. And in another unit of this apartment resided a couple that happened to be Jehovah’s Witnesses. So early every Sunday morning, when Hero was trying to sleep off the previous night’s festivities, there would be a loud knock on the door.
*knock knock*

Hero: Hello?

JW1: Hello and good morning! We are here to tell you the story of Jesus Christ!

JW2: Did you know that Jesus suffered upon the cross, died, and was resurrected to bring you salvation from your sins?

Hero: *groan*

And so it continued in a similar fashion for some time.
Eventually, Hero had enough, and decided action was necessary. Hero devised a plan, and contacted friends who were member’s of the SCA, and played personas hailing from olden Norse lands. So early one Saturday, the kind SCAdians came by in full Viking garb, and visited the apartment wherein resided the unsuspecting Jehovah’s Witnesses.

*knock knock*

JW1: Hello?

Viking 1 (In trumped up accent): Hello! Ve are Odin’s Witnesses!

Viking 2 (In similar accent): Did you know that the great Odin hung upside down on a sacred tree for 9 days to bring you these sacred runes?


And they never heard from the Jehovah’s Witnesses ever again.


One response to “Odin’s Witnesses

  1. Pingback: The Best of Chirotus: HPF Day 3 | Blacklight Metaphysics

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