Job Hunting

So I’ve been looking for a new job lately. One that is more fulfilling, has better hours, and makes better use of my natural talents.

I had a trusted friend do a reading a while back, and she suggested that I need to find an occupation in which I am working for myself, and not for someone else.

But I’m at a loss as to what I should be doing.

I’ve never had much trouble finding a job when I need one. Most of my experience is in the food service industry, and one quick service restaurant is pretty much like any other. And that’s the problem: being stuck in a stressful, repetitive environment in which I am surrounded by people who are apathetic about their work (and usually the rest of their lives) is not providing the intellectual and dare I say spiritual satisfaction I want. But when I think about what in ideal career or business opportunity would be, I come up blank.

Sure, there are a lot of things I would be good at. There are a lot of things I could do successfully if I had the desire, motivation, and credentials. But if I had the desire and motivation, I would have the credentials, and I would be doing those things.

I’ve been privileged to work with some new material on wealth magic, and it has been helping tremendously. Attitudes on money and wealth are always the first thing you want to adjust if you’re seeking to change your financial situation. But the ideas regarding employment seem to be sticking a bit harder.

First, there is the idea that there exists a “dream job” that will be perfect and fulfilling for me. A job I am “born to do” or that I am “supposed to do” or, even worse, that I am “fated” to do.

If there was such a job, why haven’t I already been drawn toward it? Either it isn’t there, or I’ve got a lot of psychological programming that has pushed me away from it. As a magician, the second thought is far more disturbing than the first.

A while back, when I was frustrated with another job that was killing my soul, I had a realization: If there was something I would rather being while I was working at my job, I should find a way to do that instead. I’m taken with a similar thought now: if I had several days off and no other obligations or financial restrictions, what would I be doing with my time? How could I make money off of that?

Well, the simple answer is that I spend my free time on Tumblr. I spend it reading — books on metaphysics and the occult especially. I spend it talking with others about magic and paganism. And then I spend time writing about those interactions and my own experiences.

That answer has been staring me in the face for years. Decades, even. When I was in middle school I wanted to be a writer.

Now what I write about is a bit less specific. I like writing about the occult, but I love writing about any personal experience at all. I used to write science fiction and fantasy. And I’m capable of technical writing as well. But I like to tell stories with my writing. And I like to tell stories of things that have happened to me or to other people. So it’s not just the writing: it’s the telling and collecting of stories. Which means interacting with people in public settings and hearing their stories.

So I’m now either a journalist or a bard.

But I also like working with people. A close team of people. I’m good at organizing and motivating people — I’ve got lots of management experience. I’ve also been told by many people that I explain things well and would make a good teacher.

Could I find a way to combine all of these attributes? Possibly. I might be able to assemble a team of crack occultist journalists to compile contemporary pagan folk traditions and present our findings to media or academia. But this actually give me a lot of room to work with, and a lot of ways I could develop and implement my natural talents.

And it doesn’t have to be one job. I could very conceivably write science fiction and fantasy and teach classes on magick or tarot on the side, which attending local pagan events and preparing books on local histories and traditions. There’s plenty to do.

So here’s the real issue: why haven’t I realized this before? Why have I allowed myself to not see this path plainly before me? Why have I, a practicing magician for almost 20 years, not considered a very obvious career path to be viable?

“Not economically viable”? Fuck you, I’m a wizard. I’ll make it viable.

I’m not big in to the social justice thing, and I’m not one to devote myself to smashing the system or raging against the machine. But I’m also a privileged middle class white male who is fairly self-aware, and even I was susceptible to a message that told me “Oh, that thing you want to do? No, don’t do that — you can’t make a living doing that. Stick with what you know.”

I’m still looking for a better job. I’d like a better income and a better work/life balance. But any new job is but a temporary step now. My target goal has shifted toward realizing myself as a writer, and I have a lot of catching up to do.

There is a way to make a living doing whatever it is you love. Find someone who is doing it and ask them. Make it happen.

Much ego magic to follow.

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